Back at Work

I have been back at work for a month and a half now and wow has it been challenging! I think I need to time my maternity leaves better so that I don't come back at the pinnacle of busy season. I promised myself I would be honest on the blog so that when I look back, I will appreciate where we are now and how difficult the early years were for us!  So here is an honest depiction of what it has been like going back to work with two boys.

I thought it would be much easier to come back to work after the second baby, but I think it might be more challenging. In some ways it is much easier because you know what to expect. On the other hand, I think it is much more difficult emotionally the second time. Mostly because there is limited amount of time with your children and you now have to split that time between two children who both want your undivided attention! Not to mention being exhausted from trying to cram as much work as possible into the time I am at the office.

Both Patrick and Peyton are doing great at school, but it definitely has it's challenges.  Patrick is so excited to go to school on Monday, but then by Thursday he is begging for mom to stay at home and play with him. It breaks my heart when he says he doesn't want to go to "Choo Choo playground" and just wants to play with Mom. I think he is definitely spoiled from the summer when I only took him a couple of hours to school each day. Peyton is also doing really well, but Margaret says he gets really cranky towards the end of the day and is always crying when I get there, which is really hard. He is also in a really cranky mood when we get home and basically just wants to eat and go to bed which is hard with a toddler screaming for attention!

Going back to work with two has been really difficult for me. I have no idea how people with more than two make it work. I could pretty easily make it work with one, but I am not sure I am successfully making it work with two. Michael and I both have very high powered, stressful jobs and it has really been a challenge to figure it out. I am supposed to only work 4 days a week (34 hours), but I have yet to only work 4 days. I can also never seem to get out of the office before 5, which means I am walking in my house at 6 after picking up the boys. If you have kids, you know that making them wait until 6:30 or 6:45 to eat is nearly impossible.

Peyton has also decided he would rather nurse all night then sleep recently. Patrick was also a big nurser, so it's no surprise but still pretty difficult. He gets up 3 times a night. Yikes! I am pretty sure I am a walking zombie at work.

Michael has also been out of town every week since I have been back at work. If he isn't out of town, he has been working late which has been very difficult for both of us. Most of the time I do dinner for the boys, bath and then bed for Peyton before Michael gets home. Michael normally does bedtime for Patrick while I make bottles, pack the boys bags, do laundry and pump for Peyton for the next day. Michael and I have every minute of the weekdays planned, with no downtime and that is extremely difficult. I know it's just as hard on Michael having to miss a lot of moments with the boys. I feel bad for him when he rushes home and has missed seeing Peyton who wants to go to bed around 7:30. I know he is working hard for our family so I am really proud of him for working so hard and know we will get through these tough early years.

I am really thankful that we live so close to my parents though! They have really been a big help these past couple of months! My dad picks up Patrick at least once a week and my mom cooks dinner for me frequently when Michael is out of town! I am pretty sure I would just eat cereal every night if Michael or my mom weren't cooking for me!

Michael and I have really been talking about how to make it work and what we can change. Hopefully we can make some changes and get to a better place soon!

I am also really grateful for the four and a half months I got to spend at home with my precious little boys. I think you appreciate the baby phase so much more the second time around. I really took every opportunity to love on him and kiss those chubby little cheeks.

So for now, we are going to cherish the time we do get with our boys and try and figure out what work/life balance situation works best for us.