I'm not sure I have ever discussed what my career was on my blog, so I thought I would share a little. Hopefully if I am having a rough day at home with the boys I can look back on this post and remember what it could be like. Because I am really blessed to have the choice to stay home. Staying home is not a choice that everyone can make. It will definitely be tight financially in our house, but I think it will be so much more rewarding for both Michael and I.
So on to my career, I was a CPA with Ernst & Young. I started at EY in September of 2006 and was promoted to manager shortly after I had Patrick. I worked in tax and specialized in state and local tax (SALT). I spent roughly 40% of my time working on compliance (tax returns) and 60% of my time working in the consulting field for state and local tax. My busiest times of the year were in the late summer/fall (extended tax return time) and year-end (restructuring projects). I worked with large Fortune 500 companies preparing tax returns, consulting on various state and local topics and restructuring businesses due to mergers and acquisitions. The state and local group at EY Nashville is mostly comprised of lawyers, so I worked with a lot of lawyers. The job requires a significant amount of reading, including reading tax codes and legislations and writing various memos. I also did a lot of "white board sessions" where we go out to a company that has had a major acquisition and analyze their structure. We propose ways to merge the companies together and rearrange certain sections of the business to pay less state and local taxes. We would typically save 500K to a million a year for the large companies I assisted.
There were lots of really long hours and there is a significant amount of stress involved. Public accountants work very long hours. Most (if not all) of the managers that I worked with that had children had spouses that did not work outside the home. It became extremely difficult to manage the workload with both Michael and I in big four accounting firms. Shortly after we had Patrick, Michael and I made the decision to put his career ahead of my own. As we knew he would be the ultimate breadwinner. This meant that if the boys were sick it would typically fall on me to stay home with them or pick them up early. Michael was rarely ever able to drop off the kids or pick them up, especially since he worked in cool springs which was about 20 minutes farther from our house than my office. We made the decision that I would go to 34 hours a week after having Patrick so it would make it a little easier. I quickly understood that reducing my schedule did not mean that my work load was reduced, it simply meant that I had to get my work done in a shorter amount of time.
It worked okay with just having one child. I learned to survive on barely any sleep and would frequently work after Patrick went to bed. If you have read my blog posts from that time you know that Patrick rarely slept. During busy times, I would frequently work until midnight until Patrick woke up, feed him and then go back to bed until he woke up again a couple hours later to eat. I breastfed Patrick for the first year, so I would also pump at work. This meant I rarely took a lunch break or attended happy hours or any other work events, since all of my extra time was spent pumping. My days were so crammed, but it was definitely doable with one child. Michael and I both learned to survive on very little sleep. We both worked a lot and tried to spend as much time with Patrick as we could.
A couple months after finishing breastfeeding Patrick I found out I was pregnant with Peyton. Going back to work after having Peyton was probably the most difficult thing I have had to do. I had been through it with Patrick and knew all that I would be missing out on. Staying home wasn't financially a possibility for us at the time. I went back to work with the intention of finding a part time job outside of the "big four" and went on a few interviews, but nothing panned out. Going back to work with two children and two parents in public accounting was absolutely miserable. I had two children ages two and under in daycare. One of the children was always sick. I missed a lot of work caring for sick kids and had to make it up at nights. In the meantime, Michael was working crazy hours and wasn't able to be home as much as he would have wanted. This was very difficult for him since he missed out on a lot with the kids. Michael and I would literally go weeks without talking about anything except for child logistics. I was so burnt out from trying to cram 50 hours of work into 32 hours that I was stressed out all the time. I was also getting ready for a promotion and so my work responsibility kept increasing. I found it extremely difficult to get all of my work done in time to leave to pick up the kids. High level executives at Fortune 500 companies didn't really understand the need for me to leave at 5pm to make it home in time to pick up children. It meant I had to walk out of a lot of meetings to get them on time and it was starting to take a toll on my career. I got passed up for the senior manager promotion last year because of it.
I was so burnt out trying to get all of my work done that I was not the mom I wanted to be for my children. We would walk in the door at 5:45 or 6pm, the children would be starving and I just couldn't ever seem to get dinner on the table fast enough. Plus, Michael typically doesn't get home until 8:30 or 9pm so it was difficult to coordinate. It was a lifestyle that wasn't working for us. The most important people in my life, my husband and children were getting my leftovers. I never felt like they were getting the best part of me. I didn't want my children to grow up with a mom who was yelling and stressed out all the time. So Michael and I both decided we needed a change.
Since I wasn't having any luck finding a part time job, we decided to sell our house and downsize to be able to afford me finding a different job or potentially staying home in the future. Little did we know, that God seemed to have different more urgent plans. The month after I finished breastfeeding Peyton, I found out I was pregnant with Conor. Our original plan was that I would make Senior Manager and that Patrick would be in kindergarten before we had a third. This meant I would have 3 children in daycare. Yikes! I'm not sure I would have ever pulled the trigger and quit my job had I not become pregnant with Conor. It was definitely a sign for us.
To say I am nervous about staying home with my kids would be an understatement. I am terrified about it. I am so used to being so mentally challenged every day I am worried that I won't be happy staying home. I also have lots of friends at work and I am used to a lot of adult interaction. I have so many questions just running through my mind... Can I teach them enough? Do I have enough patience? Am I going to be bored? Will I have anything to talk to my husband about when he gets home besides my children? Can we make this work financially? Will I regret leaving work only a couple months shy of my promotion to senior manager?
The good thing is that nothing is permanent. I am incredibly blessed to have a choice. I am incredibly blessed to have a husband that supports my choice and is working tirelessly on his career so that I can have that choice. And I am incredibly blessed to have three wonderful beautiful boys to stay home and mold them into the best men I know they can be. So here's to staying home with my kids and hopefully becoming a mom I can be proud of.
I gave my notice to my company two weeks ago after my maternity leave ended. It was definitely tough! I knew that a lot of my friends were going to get a significant amount of my work. They were already struggling themselves and I hated that I had to do that to them. However, I can't say enough great things about everyone there. Everyone was so supportive and respected my decision. And who knows, maybe I will be back there one day!
After my last day at work on Wednesday (I only went in for 4 hours), I came home to this precious angel who had refused a bottle. He also clung to me for the rest of the day. Definitely reinforced my decision to stay home with them!
You might want to check back in on my sanity in a couple months….maybe ill be dying to go back to work :)
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